Can you foster a child you know

Their first foster children were a brother and sister 6 and 8 who had been badly abused. My sister and BIL had not been given any training. The children's counselor recommended to the state that they be separated being together made their issues worse , but the state refused. The counselor also recommended that the young boy be put into a daily counseling program with an after-school component, and that my sister and her husband should be given special training, because he was so troubled and behaviorally out of control.

The state refused. A few weeks later, the boy, now 7, attacked my sister. He didn't really do any damage, but they decided to call the caseworker again and insist that more intensive counseling be pursued. The children had been with them for 4 months and they had discussed adopting the children if the boy's behavior could be stabilized.

Within 48 hours the children were removed - taken from school by a caseworker - and a note was put in my sister and her husband's file stating that they were unfit to be foster parents. My understanding is that this same situation happened with the next foster family, but much more quickly 6 weeks. Eventually, the children were sent back to a foster home with 13 children. My sister was devastated and has been dealing with recurring bouts of depression since this happened five years ago.

She will not see a counselor. I try to help her as much as possible and she has seemed better the last 6 months, until the holiday season started. Yesterday, the young girl - now 13 - sent my sister a Facebook invite with a note that she wants to call and talk to her "mommy".

My sister spent half the day crying and doesn't know what to do. I don't know how to help her. My heart is so saddened each time I hear those stories. There are so many stories like that. Feel free to share more of your stories, I think it's beneficial to those considering foster parenting to know what they are getting themselves into.

Unfortunately many of the children in the system are suffering from some sort of attachment problems. My middle sons therapist told me that the fact that his birth mother was inconsistent and constantly came into and then left him actually made his attachment problems worse.

My younger sons parents beat him and he "learned" that it hurt to be loved. Great article, I have adopted two sons from the foster system. They have given me a great deal of both challenges and rewards. They like to keep children in contact with healthy relationships they had previous. Dont beat up yourself with what you choose, most people are not equipped to care fora child with rad. The only thing I can really say, is I will pray for you. To be a good Foster parent is really a very honourable and highly respectable Job.

I will advice to read or to listen the negative things to rectify yourself to become a good Foster parent. The people,who want to be a Foster parents, please be honest,respect the situation and the story of adopting child. True story of a premature Birth of a baby and her father by Mohammad Wasim: This book actually the Documentary of life,tragedy ,suspense and romance are in this book.

Hi everyone, I am looking for words of wisdom here. I currently have my sister's 7 yr old daughter in my care, thru the Childrens aid Society supervision.

So she is not in the "system", so we don't receive funds nor services provided to her or us. I was there for her birth, and just been blessed to be close with her. I myself was adopted into a foster family at the same age, I went thru some abuse.

Her mother was also adopted and we grew up really close. So taking in my niece and making sure she had the best chance was my reason, rather then foster care. Over the past 2 yrs that she has been with us, she has struggled and went thru trauma assessment. My husband and I have had so many ups' and downs' during this time, dealing with the issues she has faced, and the fact that i do everything for her.

Recently he has decided that we cannot go on any longer and I have to decide on what is best for her. I know I have feelings from my past of insecurities, my biological family didn't nor couldn't take me. I am doing all that I can to ensure her safety, and that she never goes thru what I have,. The children's aid has never done a thing in the past 4 years they have known her, no support or respite for us, even tho, they knew the challenges we were all facing.

Her mother was not committed to her 2 weekly visits,and cancelled numerous times. This child has suffered enough. I am facing the difficulty of trusting that the CAS will find her a foster care family that will be able to provide her with the love and support she will need, since the CAS has not done a thing for her. I have no faith. I have a hard time knowing that I tried, but without the proper tools, my husband and I cannot give her what she needs.

How do I know what is best for her? How do I trust me giving her up is the right thing. My husband see's me getting emotionally exhausted and frazzled by my sister and the personal aspect of all this, and feels I am not suitable to handle this.

He has told me otherwise, we are over but i should care for her on my own, since i am so attentive to her. What do i do? I am heart broken and lost. Would I be able to be involved on a regular basis? I have got her into therapy and everything. Thanks for the article. I'm currently in the process of adopting a friend's kids from foster care. I love the books suggestions and the article in general. Jess, from my own experience with sexually abused children I would disagree. Although if you define a five year old touching another child as abuse, that in itself is debatable.

Are they going to abuse as adults, probably not, but they are going to teach the other children things that they shouldn't know at an early age. That is an unfortunate myth that has spread due to fear and lack of research in previous times. All the current research shows that a person who was sexually abused is not any more likely to sexually abuse a child than someone who was never abused. Just wanted to share and hopefully shed some light on an often misunderstood topic. Muhammad that is a sad story.

I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreak. That's one thing sad about foster care, is that there is always a sad story attached.

It can end up happy, but underneath it began with a sad story. I am so sorry. Charlene, I'm going to be honest with you, we will not allow a sexually abused child in our home, because we already have a child in our home. They are known to perp on other children, and often it is best not to have them in a home that already has younger children. That's just what I heard, and you need to do what your gut tells you. Christytidbits, thank you for your sharing.

I have not yet had to experience the saying goodbye yet, and I dread the day I do. But the Lord is in control, and that's what I try to remind myself. Foster parents is a noble job.

To treat a strange child as his own child is not a easy job. I have a great respect such a parents. I do not know,how far I am right to say my own experience. I will be thankful, if some one rectify me. I have a daughter. At the age of four, I have given her a Foster care parent. The government department helped me to get the family. Due to some reason ,I could not keep her with me. In the beginning I was very satisfied with this family. I could visit her any time.

Suddenly I got a letter from Children care department that, Your daughter can not concentrate in school and she was hanging between you and Foster family.

That's why ,our Children care taking department decided to visit once a week for six hours. I understand the problem of my daughter. I picked up once a week for six hours. After a year, I got again a letter from the office that "You daughter is not satisfied with you. She asked to visit her in the Foster parent's house. Adoption Counseling. Adoptee Blogs. Adoptees Books. Talking About Adoption. Adoption Info. Adoption Overview — An Introduction to Adoption.

Understanding the True Meaning of Adoption. What Are Your Adoption Options? Staying Up to Date on Adoption News. Thoughts from a Birth Mother. Know Your Rights. Come Together. Adopt or Abort. Foster Care. Foster Care Adoption Basics. Can I Adopt a Foster Child? How to Adopt a Foster Child in 7 Steps. How Hard is it to Adopt a Foster Child? Fostering to Adopt.

Can a Foster Parent Adopt? How to Foster to Adopt. About Children in Foster Care. Who Are the Foster Children for Adoption? Adopting a Toddler from Foster Care. Adopting an Infant from Foster Care. Adopting a Sibling Group from Foster Care.

Adopting a Family Member from Foster Care. Foster Care vs. Private Adoption vs. International Adoption: Which is Right for You? Should I Foster or Adopt? Your Complete Guide to Foster Care vs. Foster Care Adoption Costs. Parental Leave for Foster Care Adoption. Foster Adoption Resources. Foster Adoption Support Groups. Foster Care Adoption News. Parenting After Foster Care Adoption. Transition from Foster Care to Adoption.

RAD and Attachment. Adoption Disruption. Maintaining Sibling Relationships. Effects of Adoption from Foster Care. Foster Care Adoption Professionals. A Guide to Foster Adoption Agencies. Foster Care Adoption Attorneys. Foster Care Adoption Social Workers. Is International Adoption Right for You? International vs. Domestic Adoption. International Adoption Information. International Adoption Process. Hague Adoption Convention. International Adoption Visas. Adoption Dossier Checklist.

Adoption Organizations. International Re-Adoption. Countries for International Adoption. Actively scan device characteristics for identification. Use precise geolocation data. Select personalised content. Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile.

Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. One day I came home from working at our local children's home and asked my husband what he thought about becoming a foster parent. Related Topics Foster Parenting.

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