How many marriages are sexless

Upon understanding that sex is not a primary function of marriage, we can see that there has been a change with the family and human personality on a global scale. The notion of family has been renegotiated in recent time. Before making a decision on what to do with your marriage, both parties need to give themselves time to contemplate the situation.

Afterwards, you then need to sit down together and discuss the issue from each other's perspective. If you value your partner and they are reluctant to have frequent sexual contacts with you not because of an ongoing affair we cannot exclude this factor as some people prefer to turn a blind eye to it , there are a number of factors pertinent to the situation.

As long as you know for sure that you love your spouse and wish to continue living with them, and the only thing preventing you from living a fulfilling life is the lack of sex, there are many other ways to deal with the issue without resorting to adultery. Sex life at its lowest point can occur as a response to some events in your life: you have children under age 3; one or both of you have a stressful job or work long hours; or someone has been ill.

All of these are valid reasons for a decrease in libido levels. Even if one of you feels perpetually exhausted and thinks libido levels will never get back to what it once was, this is actually the best case scenario for your sex life. This just means that both of you need some time to rest and get back on track. In many cases, if you both find the time to unwind — getaway, vacation, or just some time off alone — you may succeed in rekindling marital sex.

At this point, you need to keep in mind that rest and relaxation are crucially important in maintaining relationships. Children grow up quickly and your sexual dry spell will end soon. If you are too busy maintaining your lifestyle and fretting over your children's future, just remember that an intimate connection between you and your partner should always come first.

Otherwise, you may end up losing the relationship that you diligently maintain your lifestyle for. Research shows that one of the most important factors in maintaining a happy marriage is sharing chores. In a two-income household, domestic duties are usually referred to as the wife's 'second' or 'third' shift after they return home from work. Instead, the husband should be more mindful of this and help around the house by completing the dishes and doing the laundry.

It is a widely known fact that there is an inequality in terms of who has responsibility in completing household chores, as women are traditionally considered to be better caretakers than men.. If you are a husband who is frustrated with your wife constantly being reluctant to have sex with you, see to it that you help her out in completing household chores and taking care of the children.

In some cases, a couple's sexless status may be a result of poor marital relations. In such cases, spending a weekend away from the family or helping around the house are not enough. Maintaining a relationship is difficult. Many people erroneously believe that since they put much effort into winning each other over before the marriage that they let their relationship slide afterwards.

However, it is important to keep in mind that after you have settled down together, you need to put in even more effort to keep the relationship going. As a guest on Femsplainers, clinical psychologist Jordan B. Peterson states, "Couples need to spend at least 90 minutes a week with your partner talking.

That means you're telling each other of your life and you're staying in touch, so you each know what the other is up to. You're discussing what needs to be done to keep the household running smoothly and you laying down some mutually acceptable vision of who the next week or next month are going to go together. That keeps your narrative locked together, like the strands in a rope. You need that 90 minutes or you drift apart. If you don't make it a priority, it won't happen.

Are you encountering an emotional coldness from your partner that was not typical of him before? Soulful disconnection is one of the signs your husband wants a divorce.

In her TED Talk lecture on the sex-starved marriage, family therapist and author Michele Weiner-Davis explains, "To the spouse yearning for more sex and more touch, it's a huge deal. Because it really is about feeling wanted, feeling loved, feeling connected, about feeling masculine or feminine and attractive.

When this major disconnect happens, what also happens is that intimacy on all levels goes right out the door. They stop sitting next to each other on the couch. They quit laughing at each others' jokes. They don't spend time together. They stop being friends. If your relationship goes sour, you cannot expect your sex life to thrive as these two are interrelated.

If you want your partner to be responsive to your needs, be responsive to theirs too. Listen to what they say, show your understanding and try to be empathic and see things from your their perspective. If you have had a long period of disagreement and confrontation, it is difficult to resume your sex life without professional help. Most likely, you've inflicted much pain on each other and have many unresolved issues.

In such a situation of miscommunication, one or both parties are usually angry with each other. In order to unravel this bundle of issues, a mediator can be of great help so that the partners won't hurt each other even more. Another issue of miscommunication is the fact that many people avoid talking about sex.

It is great to develop a habit in talking about what you both like and dislike in sex when your relationship is at its early stages. This way, when something goes wrong, it is easier to start a conversation about it. Sometimes, people stress over stereotypical ideas of gender roles which can lead to no intimacy from the husband or wife. For the woman, she may prefer to have a macho man and the man prefers a nymph as his partner.

As long as the partner fits such stereotypes, their relationships are stable. However, having such expectations mask who they really are and the issues and needs that they have. To rid yourself of such fantasies and step into reality, you need to treat what your partner tells you seriously.

Another thing to keep in mind is that if you want to be heard, you need to speak your partner's language. This is because the issue may be deeper than you might think. For example, if a husband, who thinks kinesthetically, hears from his wife, who expresses herself visually, 'Can't you see the mess you created by tossing your socks around?

He simply responds by saying, 'Just don't look at them' and believes that the problem is solved. However, the therapist provides him a more relatable example, 'Imagine you go to bed, crawl under the cover, and feel a bed full of crumbs. That's what your wife feels when she sees your socks thrown on the floor. This example is crude, but it provides a picture of how each person has their own preferred language of communication. You can notice your partner's language if you are attentive.

If your partner uses many 'visual' words such as: look, see, view, picture, show, observe, and "Do you see what I mean? Hearing auditory clues in your partner's language such as: listen, hear, say, tell, discuss, sound, loud, speechless, and "I hear you loud and clear, clear as a bell" or "Have a word with him", indicates to you that they are the auditory type. Meanwhile, those who use words such as feel, care, touch, love, sense, soft, hard, and say "How do you feel about that?

If you can single out your partner's communication style, you can adapt to their way of talking and make your ideas more relatable to them. Furthermore, people tend to be rather egocentric and apply anything that they hear about other people to themselves. If your partner tells you that she or he does not want to have frequent sex, you should not misinterpret it as 'Since you don't want to have sex with me, you must want to do it with somebody else.

If your impulse is to think 'You don't want me anymore' and you start following your partner around and check their messages, you need to stop and consider: 'What am I doing in this marriage?

Why am I here? And If I want this relationship to work, I need to choose a different strategy — as this one is clearly not working. Sexual issues are a highly delicate topic. Both the husband and wife should be considerate and sensitive when talking about them.

When it comes to men and sexless marriages, men should be honest and open, and not be embarrassed to talk about sex with their wives. In turn, women should also be extremely sensitive on the subject and not humiliate their husbands for "not being men," so he will not be thinking "why is my wife not interested in me sexually? Instead, continue to sleep together in bed and be tender to each other. Apart from vaginal intercourse, there are many other sexual practices and other ways on how to live in a sexless marriage that you and your partner can engage in.

Sexologist Judith Steinhart stated that relationship issues such as lack of trust between spouses, anxiety, pressures such as from children, and common misunderstandings between spouses also contribute significantly to having a sexless relationship.

Counselor Dr. Persons in sexless marriages are more likely to seek a divorce than those with active sex lives, according to the Tara Parker-Pope of The New York Times. According to Parker-Pope, a sexless marriage can also be temporary and affected by outside circumstances. For example, childbirth or an affair on the part of one spouse can make a marriage become sexless.

Her article stated that in a sexless marriage, if both partners are comfortable with the level of sexuality, a marriage is likely to continue. Some researchers have blamed modern technology for the increase in sexless marriages; The Examiner is quoted as stating that TVs and laptops or cell phones in the bedroom are to blame by many couples when it comes to interrupting sexual activity and desire.

A sex census in , funded by Relate and adult store Ann Summers, stated that respondents claimed to have more sexual confidence between the ages of 60 and 69 than ever before. The study also claimed that respondents reported no decrease in sex drive after the age of Their respondents cited childrearing, housework, secular careers, paying the bills, and everyday chores such as these as taking precedent over sexual activity.

The same article listed depression as a common cause of a lack of sex drive, on the part of either spouse. Another cause of a sexless marriage is depression. When a person loses interest in life and feels hopeless or restless, it takes a toll on their relationships. Whether the health issues you or your spouse experience are physical or mental, it is necessary to seek medical attention.

In this case, lack of sex in a marriage should be the least of your concerns as, without professional help, any of these conditions might lead to devastating consequences.

Many are surprised to find out that many prescribed medications come with side effects that may harm their sexual activity. Suppose there is a reason to believe that your medication seriously affects your sex drive, and you find that uncomfortable or unbearable. In that case, it is best to consult your physician to see if you are right about your suspicions and if there are alternatives that can be prescribed instead. Overall, if you have found yourself coping with a sexless marriage, it does not mean that you or your spouse should necessarily separate or that any of you want it at all.

If you believe that there are problems with physical intimacy in your relationships, having an honest conversation about it is the first step. It is crucial to voice your wants and needs without criticizing your significant other. After all, talking about sex, most people feel very vulnerable, and it may take a few poorly chosen words to offend your partner.

A divorce might become a part of such a conversation, and you need to listen to yourself and your partner to understand whether this is something either of you considers to be the best option.

During my counseling years, a lot of couples asked me how many sexless marriages end in divorce. Some of them wanted to know that numbers are on their side, while others were looking for a reason to separate. Overall, reviewing the sexless marriage statistics will not help you decide whether to divorce or not and help analyze how long do sexless marriages last.

However, there are some questions you may answer to understand where your marriage stands. Are you and your spouse ready to try counseling to work on your relationships? If both of you are, it is a good sign. Even if not, in case the partner who refuses to go to therapy together offers some alternatives, likely, they did not give up on your marriage.

Strong negative feelings are often hard to get rid of. If you firmly believe you cannot, do you think your partnership will remain satisfactory to both of you? While divorce does affect kids, having unhappy parents may do even more damage. Health Conditions Discover Plan Connect. Written by Janet Brito, Ph. Signs of a sexless partnership Causes Navigating or rebuilding the relationship Statistics Will it lead to divorce?

Share on Pinterest. Are you in a sexless partnership? First, determine whether a sexless marriage bothers you. Second, look back and see when it first began. Then, figure out your path to navigating or rebuilding a sexless marriage. Is sex essential for a healthy marriage without divorce? Read this next. Healthy Sex for Women. Medically reviewed by Emelia Arquilla, DO. Sex and Aging. Medically reviewed by University of Illinois. Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.